Dehydrator? I Barely Know Her

I get on health kicks. Sometimes, I am a deliberate eater. I’ll go to Arby’s and order a Beef ‘n Cheddar with no bun and forgo the curly fries. That’s discipline. 

Other times, I will spend $30 at Taco Bell, eat it all, and then get a bowl of cereal. 

Around Christmas one year, I joined the low carb diet fun. I convinced my wife to get me a dehydrator. My excitement boiled over. I tracked the Amazon delivery status. 

Christmas purists would shudder at my plans. I was going to use this dehydrator immediately. There’s no reason to wrap it or wait until the 25th. I want jerky. 

Jerky is meat candy. 

However, it is far too expensive. A quarter filled sack of jerky will run you the same as 3 pizzas from Little Caesar’s. 

I checked. The eagle landed at 2:30. I was stuck at school. I considered leaving early. Does study hall really need a teacher? 

My wife gets off at 3 and is only 10 minutes from our 3rd floor apartment. 

By the time she arrived, my dehydrator was stolen. Porch pirates deprived me of my meat. They’re a bunch of jerky jerks. 

Amazon plans for theft. They sent me another dehydrator. I immediately made jerky. I have owned it for 4 years. That was the only time I used it.

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