I went to Liberty University, the world’s most exciting university. Seriously, they use that tag line or at least did when I went there.
After my first year, I decided to upgrade my living situation from the budget dorms in the “circle” to the slightly nicer dorms in the “quad”. The walk to class was longer, but instead of 3 guys shoved into one room, I would have only 1 roommate. I let the computer pair me up with a random freshman. His name was Garret. He loved World of Warcraft and was up for anything.
He took a look at me, the monster who would now sleep in his room, and decided to take the top bunk. Smart.
Not many people would volunteer to have my body 3 feet above them while they slept.
Quick side note:
I did sleep on the top bunk for a couple of weeks one summer after I graduated. I came back to Lynchburg and crashed with my buddy Dan. He had a bunk bed, and I slept on the top. One afternoon, we were both in bed. I was reading The Hobbit, and I took an unexpected journey. The top bunk slid off the supports and collapsed. Dan was pinned to his mattress by a plywood board with a guy on top that could easily be described as “husky”. Dan was fine, and I moved my mattress to the floor.
In the door room, however, I graciously accepted the bottom bunk.
I grabbed my fitted twin sheet and put it over the vinyl covered mattress. I threw my blanket and pillow on top. My bed was made. Now was time to lay in it.
The next morning, I was tangled in my bottom sheet. During the night, it popped off the mattress. The coefficient of friction between the cotton sheet and the vinyl mattress was rather low.
I returned the bottom sheet to its position. The next morning, I again woke up to find my fitted sheet refusing to stay on my urine proof mattress.
I said, “I’m not dealing with this all year.”
That was the last time I attempted to put a fitted sheet on that borrowed mattress. For the next 2 semesters, I slept directly on the blue vinyl. Each morning, I peeled myself off thankful that I did not have to mess with an unruly sheet.
Jake Hovis 